War Not in Anger by Paul Clayton

Oh, hear ye all
this tale of woe,
‘bout jolly men,
ne’er laid low.

Mighty men of old
who ruled with humor,
somewhere south
of the land of Sumer.

On a plain of dust,
where blood ne’er ran,
lived the mighty men
of Wimpistan.

‘War should not hurt,’
said their jolly king,
a Wimp named Clyde,
With a powerful swing.

‘Let us put heads together
and figure out a way
to fight and live
another day.’

So instead of sword and shield,
and mace and bow,
they fought with pillows
against friend and foe.

They fought for fun
when the trumpets blew,
and no one died
under skies of blue.

For a thousand years,
they swung and ducked,
then the Kruks showed up,
and reality struck.

Outside the gates
in the morning light,
Kruks shouted from their ranks,
‘Come out and fight!’

Wimps went out
to the battlefield,
their pillows slung,
ready to wield.

On the chosen plain,
Kruk warrior hordes
watched Wimps approach,
then pulled their swords.

Then ensued
a mighty battle;
many Wimps were slain
like cattle,
their mighty pillows of renown,
soon lay in shreds upon the ground.

While high above,
the feathers flew,
the sun grew dark,
Wimps for peace did sue.

Kruks blew their trumpets;
the battle stopped.
Wimps now were slaves,
but slain were not.

Kruks castrated
every boy and man.
And that is why
you’ve never heard
of the mighty men of Wimpistan.

Paul Clayton authored a historical fiction series on the Spanish conquest of the Floridas—Calling Crow, Flight of the Crow, and Calling Crow Nation, with Putnam/Berkley. He also authored a fictionalized memoir, Carl Melcher Goes to Vietnam, with Thomas Dunne. Clayton’s latest, Escape From the Future and Other Stories, brings together five tales that juxtapose the familiar America of the very recent past with ominous new versions of the country now coming into focus. Follow him on Substack: https://paulclayton.substack.com/